Know this: if you have been to court --divorce court, probate court, God forbid, criminal court--you have been wounded. We know divorce wounds,and death wounds--but all seem to be l blind to the fact that the court system wounds. Everyone knows divorce hurts. Everyone knows death hurts. We seem NOT to know COURTS hurt people!
You went to court seeking justice. You didn't find it. Ever. Of course you got married seeking love, just as I did. The failure of that desire for love and permanence is a huge wound, but (alas) not one which our society sees, or honors... or nurtures the healing of. You may have noticed this. I was lucky--I was determined to avoid courts. I have. (I have not avoided loss, but I have learned to heal it.)
We all want to feel loved. We all want to relate and to be seen. Women want to be chosen. Men need to feel meaning in life. (Work and sports? Not enough!) And, yes, men need to have connection to their children.
Many women are angry with men--but men, too, are human, and they only pretend not to have feelings. They are as hurt by the legal system as women are.
Everyone is.
If you have been through any divorce you have been UNchosen. If your spouse died you may feel unchosen, betrayed and abandoned. You may be angry—and find this confusing. It all seems unfair. (And it is!) If you are a Dad in the court system you are almost certainly feeling angry and betrayed. (And guess what? it won't get better as long as the fighting continues.) This is NOT healthy--for anyone. Not spiritually, not emotionally... not in terms of present or future relationships.
In any of these cases. you may feel “off”. Empty, confused, numb, or depressed. You may be enraged. Worse yes, you may not have a name for what you feel. Your wound has not been seen or named--and so, it cant be healed.
You have been subjected to injustice. But oddly, no one seems to notice. But I do, and I know it is the elephant in the room of our court system. I know it can blight your life, extinguish your joy and make you feel permanently miserable.
If the court case is over, you are now in limbo. No one told you the "end" was really the beginning! IT IS the beginning--but of a path with no name and no signposts. No sympathy cards, no TV shows... no explanation of what this is--no support groups. You are in this alone--or you seem to be. Oh there are books a galore on "we know divorce hurts"-- but NO ONE IS A SAYING "we know injustice eats away at the soul". But it does, and it will... until it is named.
You may need to be seen and heard—you many need a name for what you are feeling.
Your heart needs healing. Your story needs to be heard and the injustice acknowledged.
I have two proposed solutions. Come to Sedona, land of unimaginable beauty and healing, and find the way to right relationship—inside yourself. When you are there, right relationship with others is instantaneous. Getting to "right relationship" is NOT instantaneous, but the work is worth it. If you are in pieces, how would it be to have PEACE?
Option two--the easiest one--buy, read and use the book I wrote from my heart and my soul--not from a"guru" mentality. I have been there, and I seen the harm--I am an attorney after all. But I have lived injustice . and I have survived.I have grown.
Call me at 800-400-8978 and find out how to "find your way home."
Register below for my free "Nine Reasons Affirmations Don't Work (The Way You Wish they Did.) There is a lie in the mix, and you can't move in until you deal in truth.
Or email me at ecarrollstraus@gmail.com--I am the Truth Shaman!
You went to court seeking justice. You didn't find it. Ever. Of course you got married seeking love, just as I did. The failure of that desire for love and permanence is a huge wound, but (alas) not one which our society sees, or honors... or nurtures the healing of. You may have noticed this. I was lucky--I was determined to avoid courts. I have. (I have not avoided loss, but I have learned to heal it.)
We all want to feel loved. We all want to relate and to be seen. Women want to be chosen. Men need to feel meaning in life. (Work and sports? Not enough!) And, yes, men need to have connection to their children.
Many women are angry with men--but men, too, are human, and they only pretend not to have feelings. They are as hurt by the legal system as women are.
Everyone is.
If you have been through any divorce you have been UNchosen. If your spouse died you may feel unchosen, betrayed and abandoned. You may be angry—and find this confusing. It all seems unfair. (And it is!) If you are a Dad in the court system you are almost certainly feeling angry and betrayed. (And guess what? it won't get better as long as the fighting continues.) This is NOT healthy--for anyone. Not spiritually, not emotionally... not in terms of present or future relationships.
In any of these cases. you may feel “off”. Empty, confused, numb, or depressed. You may be enraged. Worse yes, you may not have a name for what you feel. Your wound has not been seen or named--and so, it cant be healed.
You have been subjected to injustice. But oddly, no one seems to notice. But I do, and I know it is the elephant in the room of our court system. I know it can blight your life, extinguish your joy and make you feel permanently miserable.
If the court case is over, you are now in limbo. No one told you the "end" was really the beginning! IT IS the beginning--but of a path with no name and no signposts. No sympathy cards, no TV shows... no explanation of what this is--no support groups. You are in this alone--or you seem to be. Oh there are books a galore on "we know divorce hurts"-- but NO ONE IS A SAYING "we know injustice eats away at the soul". But it does, and it will... until it is named.
You may need to be seen and heard—you many need a name for what you are feeling.
Your heart needs healing. Your story needs to be heard and the injustice acknowledged.
I have two proposed solutions. Come to Sedona, land of unimaginable beauty and healing, and find the way to right relationship—inside yourself. When you are there, right relationship with others is instantaneous. Getting to "right relationship" is NOT instantaneous, but the work is worth it. If you are in pieces, how would it be to have PEACE?
Option two--the easiest one--buy, read and use the book I wrote from my heart and my soul--not from a"guru" mentality. I have been there, and I seen the harm--I am an attorney after all. But I have lived injustice . and I have survived.I have grown.
Call me at 800-400-8978 and find out how to "find your way home."
Register below for my free "Nine Reasons Affirmations Don't Work (The Way You Wish they Did.) There is a lie in the mix, and you can't move in until you deal in truth.
Or email me at ecarrollstraus@gmail.com--I am the Truth Shaman!